Destin & I have been dating for 5 years now-college sweethearts! Everyone who knows me knows that I love surprises & Destin especially knew that when the time came to pop the question, he would make it something to remember. Let me explain a little thing first…we have been wanting a dog for some time now, specifically a chocolate lab named Moose (we had a dog in mind with a name & all, just not the dog yet, ha). I had 2 friends that had found puppies in cardboard boxes, I go to the Humane Society on a monthly basis to adore the pups, & I receive notifications for sweet dogs that are needing homes all the time, but Destin was beginning to think that I was making these sad puppy stories up just to sweet talk him into us getting one. Our proposal in a nutshell: We traveled back to my hometown to spend time with my family on Thanksgiving. On Thanksgiving morning, Destin insisted we go to downtown Fort Smith to walk around a park where I had taken him 5 years prior when he first met my family. I thought, great idea seeing as how we were about to gorge ourselves with turkey and dressing! We were walking through the park, admiring the colorful trees and taking silly pictures like we always do. As we began getting a little closer to the top of the hill, I start to hear a little whine/bark. This is when I begin crying and laughing, and then there it was- a CARDBOARD BOX at the top of the hill sitting next to a bench. I left Destin behind & ran faster than I’ve ever ran in my life to find the most adorable chocolate lab puppy I’ve ever seen. Not only was there a puppy, but a vintage tin can. Destin had caught up with me at that point- telling me to open the tin can. I open it, not finding a ring but a collar. The collar was monogrammed ‘Moose’ and a leash was attached as well, monogrammed “Will you Marry me?” (side note: Destin is a Graphic Designer, so he designed the collar & leash himself). Destin got down on his knee with ring in hand & asked me to marry him. I danced like a giddy little girl, hugged him & Moose nice & tight, and of course said YES! Needless to say, I was super surprised & so stinking happy! I officially became the luckiest girl in the world, the future wife of Destin Layton! A puppy, a ring, and a fiancé, BEST.THANKSGIVING.EVER! (And yes, Moose will be in the wedding)!

They were a fantastic couple to work with! I loved showing them the photos during the premier because they totally “got it” about the art I created for them. For the session we went to the River Trail in North Little Rock and walked … and walked, and walked. It sure does seem like a lot shorter distance, jogging, in tennis shoes!

Moose was a darling, though still a puppy in many ways. I’m so excited for this couple!

Of course you have!

If so, you may be the victim of a wedding scam that has become all too common. It’s known as the “styled shoot.”

I have been an enemy of the styled shoot since I found out about them, but now apparently a few wedding planners are calling them out, too. So I’m hastening to come out: I hate. H-A-T-E. Styled shoots.

Why? I mean, really, why should I? They produce beautiful photos. They are great portfolio builders for photographers (and wedding planners, too). They seem like fun.

I hate them because they lie to you. You, the bride. You, the couple.

Here, from my perspective, is what you should know about styled shoots:

1. That couple isn’t a couple.

As a Beloved photographer, committed to capturing real emotion and relationships between people, I maybe resent this more than anything. It’s more than likely that perfect couple in the styled shoot are models, not into each other, and with no real emotion to capture. In other words, they are faking it.

2. Even if they are a couple, they are not the focus of the photography.

Styled shoots take the focus off the couple and put it on the staging for the couple. Styled shoots are about place settings, flower arrangements, and creating a fictional story. Just to be clear: bringing props that represent your love to a photo session: awesome. Bringing props that do not represent you, but you saw someone else do it and thought it was cute: not awesome. I guarantee in a few years, people will be asking, “Why do we have all these mason jars and homemade chalkboard signs in our photos?” Those photos will be the new Velvet Elvis.

3. They aren’t realistic representations of what the photographer can do.

Maybe there are amazing images from styled shoots on your photographer’s website (though chances are, they are trying to pass as wedding day images!) But a styled shoot is not a wedding. For one thing, it’s styled. It’s made-for-photos. Which means things are laid out in a certain way that may not be appropriate or practical for a wedding. In addition, it’s possible to bring all kinds of lighting to a styled shoot, to wait for the perfect time of day or even time of year, to have a makeup artist constantly on hand to retouch the bride’s makeup (maybe the “groom’s” too), to have the wedding planner on hand to reset everything “just so” if something gets moved out of place. Whereas, on a real-life wedding day, there could be a freak heatwave or thunderstorm, difficult lighting situations, guests jumping in front of the camera and a bride who is simply melting from both the heat and the stress of the wedding day. Just because a photographer has some amazing styled images, does not mean they are qualified to deal with what a wedding day can throw at you … and certainly it means they are not likely to get the same kind of photos from your wedding!

4. They aren’t realistic representations of what the wedding planner can do.

A lot of experienced wedding planners hate styled shoots for the same reason that experienced photographers hate styled shoots: they are a sneaky way of making a wedding professional look better and more experienced than they really are. By putting together a few table settings, getting a wannabe wedding photographer to photograph them, and posting them on their blog, an inexperienced wedding planner can put some gorgeous stuff out in front of potential clients. Which, by the way, has nothing to do with how she will handle things when the maid of honor is being sick in the bathroom, two groomsmen are missing, and it’s time to begin formal group photos.

5. They aren’t the best source of ideas, either.

The other reason some wedding planners hate styled shoots: They aren’t realistic from a planning perspective. What is possible for one tiny table setting for a styled shoot, may be out of reach of all but the most expansive of budgets for 20 table settings.

6. Photo shoots are not wedding days, and vice versa.

If you can make one or two hours of time on your wedding day to simply have a photo shoot, awesome! I love it when clients do that! But realistically, most couples are going to find it hard to take 15 minutes away from their guests to get photos. The dynamic of getting amazing images, from the photographer’s perspective, changes dramatically when they have 15 minutes as opposed to all the time they need. Just because a photographer knows how to do amazing portraits under the most optimal conditions, does not mean they can accomplish the same feat with minimal lighting, in the rain under an awning, after dark, or in a somewhat plain church or reception hall.

Before you get mad at me for bursting your Pinterest bubble, remember that I’m not asking you to stop looking at styled shoots — you may not even know when you are looking at one. But take the photos shared online with a grain of salt, unless there’s no doubt that they are from a real wedding, with a real bride and groom. And remember to focus on the love between you, which is the most important thing of all. Because when there is true love between a couple, I can be in the ugliest spot on earth and get the most beautiful photos imaginable!

Lindsey and Perry also had one of the all-time best “first looks” I’ve ever seen, and here’s how it came about. Lindsey had already bought her dress, when Perry was just looking online and found a dress that he thought was great. It just happened to be the very same dress. Okay, first, how awesome is this man that cares enough about his wedding that he will look at wedding dresses online? I mean, this is a pretty studly guy, but he is so full of anticipation for his wedding day that he is looking at dresses! Second, what are the chances, in the thousands of wedding dresses out there, that he would even come across the same dress, much less pick it out as perfect for his future bride!

It was also an incredibly fun party, with DJ Mario of Central Arkansas Entertainment finessing the crowd as he always does! This man knows his parties, and he can create a party anywhere. I do mean ANYwhere!

One of the best parts for me was getting to have some time to really do Beloved photos with this couple. An Enchanting Evening certainly lends itself to sneaking off to a quiet place, and that’s just what we did!

It was a fun family, too, with grandma dancing down the aisle and not one person being afraid to get out and show off their moves.

There are such a vast array of restaurants, and everyone has experiences in dining out to draw from.

Do you know which restaurants in your town are the best ones? Most likely, you do.

How do you know which restaurants are the best? Maybe your friends told you, or you heard “through the grapevine,” or … it’s just common knowledge.

But here are two of the main reasons you know what restaurants are good: Education, and price.

First: education.

If you go to a restaurant that has a chef, you expect to pay more. They have a person on staff who has dedicated time and effort to learning about food, about preparing food, about combining tastes to make something special.  They communicate this very efficiently by talking about their chef, and about any awards or honors he or she has received.

Photographers do not, as a rule, do a great job of this.

One reason is that many photographers these days are actually not educated. They are the photographers who picked up a camera and decided, “I’ll just do what I like.”

Let’s be clear, here. I go in my kitchen all the time, and “just do what I like.” It’s fun, and sometimes the results are pretty awesome. (And, sometimes, they are not … a lot like those photographers who just do what they like). There is NO WAY ON EARTH I would ever charge a person to cook for them. Ever. Period.

The educated photographers — whether we are college-educated, veteran convention and seminar attendees, Certified Professional Photographers … we don’t do a good job of communicating what education we have. We keep saying “nobody cares about that.” But maybe, if we would do a better job of telling them, they would care.

We don’t do a good job of telling people the difference our education makes, of communicating the difference between a photograph where the photographer has mastered light and composition, and a snapshot.

We don’t do a good job of asserting ourselves as experts, either. It seems like sometimes we think being “customer-focused” means we just do whatever technically shoddy thing they bring to us that another, uneducated photographer has done. When, really, what our clients need is to have confidence in us, in our knowledge and expertise.

Now, on to price.

This seems like a good time to move on to the topic of price.

What gives you the first hint that something is of high quality? Price. What makes you think you have hired an expert? Price.

That doesn’t mean you can’t sometimes find deals and bargains, but most of the time we realize that if we pay the lowest price for something, we are going to compromise somewhere on quality. If you pay $1 for a burger, what do you expect? A tiny little thin patty, a little ketchup, some shriveled onions, on a plain bun.

On the other hand, if you pay $50 for a burger, you expect it to be a pretty awesome burger. You know that a business can’t stay going too long charging $50 for terrible burgers, so you figure if it costs that much, there must be a reason.

Also — and I speak from experience here — if you pay $50 for a burger, you are going to do everything possible to convince yourself that it was a pretty good burger. It would have to be a really terrible burger for you to criticize it, because no one likes to feel like a chump. You’ve invested $50 in a burger, then you have a nice, sizable little investment in finding something good about it.

Or, let’s talk about wine. I personally know jack about wine … grew up in a dry county, for heaven’s sake! I probably didn’t actually see a bottle of wine until I was well past legal drinking age. If I were tasked with buying a nice bottle of wine for someone, do you think I would go for the $5.99 grocery store bottle? Not a chance! Maybe that $5.99 grocery store bottle is a secret steal, for someone who knows about wine, but I wouldn’t be betting my reputation on it. Most of your clients are doing just that: purchasing something they have no history with, and no way of knowing quality.

Price is the best cue we have for indicating quality to our clients. And yet, many of us refuse to offer that cue. We undervalue ourselves because we are scared to charge more. Our clients see our prices and lose confidence in us. They don’t trust us. They second-guess our artistic choices. And no wonder … we haven’t communicated our education, and we are priced similar to the lady down the road who got a camera for Christmas six months ago.

It’s time we proudly presented our resume to clients. Time we stopped tolerating those in our industry who teach and preach anything “anti-education.”

It’s time those with little or no education realized their lack and remedied the situation. With no end of online learning, low-cost conferences and conventions, DVDs and books, there is really no excuse any more for not knowing what you are doing.

It’s time we valued what we do again … like we once did, long ago. It’s time we elevated photography from the “okay” image to the “unbelievable” image, and made our work a treat for the senses … just like a fine, chef-prepared meal.

Some of my favorite wedding moments ever are courtesy of dads. I love the look dads get on their face when they walk their baby girl down the aisle. It’s half tragedy, half joy. They love their little girl and want the best for her, but it is heart-wrenching too, because she is stepping out of the family she has always known to create another family unit.

I have to give an immense, admiring and awestruck cheer to the step-dads and adoptive dads, who have stepped in to raise children, sometimes when the biological dad was deceased or not in the picture. They are truly heroes to me.

Actually, any guy who wants to be a dad — a real dad — is a hero. Over the years I have met some amazing dads, and I’m going to just show a few pictures here to celebrate them! This is by no means an exhaustive list, just a quick blog post to celebrate fatherhood as it has appeared in my blog over the years!

A most precious moment — Megan’s dad kissing her hand during their dance together.

There wasn’t a dry eye in the room after Meagan’s dad sang to her the song he used to sing at bedtime when she was growing up.

One of the best things EVER! The look on Doug (dad) and Jack’s face as they watched Jasmine come down the aisle.

I can’t say anything other than … I love this one. So, so, so much.

I love father-daughter dances!

One of the top “dad” moments of the year: Lauren’s dad painted his head with Lauren and Matthew’s initials, plus a heart, just before the first dance. Then he enjoyed a lovely dance with his daughter (below.) This is one incredible man, who will paint his bald head in silver for his daughter! Truly as the Sweet Potato Queens say, men with hair are overrated.

Fathers of the groom don’t always get their due, but Matthew’s dad is an amazing man as well, and not afraid to show emotion at his son’s wedding.

Another awesome fun dad moment: Met’s dad singing along to the band with Met and Rachel at their October wedding at the Villa Marre.

Sometimes you can tell that dad is holding back the tears, and sometimes there is this look that says “You had BETTER treat her like the queen that she is!” Or … both.

Saletheo enjoys a moment with his daughter minutes after marrying her mother!

Two of the top Dad moments of 2012: Jerry not only gave a ring to his new wife, he gave a little heart-shaped ring to her daughter as his pledge to be a good dad for her. Who says nothing can make me cry at a wedding any more? And below, Laura wipes tears from her dad’s face just before the wedding.

So let’s hear it for dads. They are the tough guys in our lives, but when it comes down to it, they are just big old softies, and we all know it!

We had scheduled Casey’s bridal photos for a time of year when things are usually in full bloom, but then things didn’t bloom. Many of the places where I had expected fields full of beautiful wildflowers were only starting to show tiny bits of color. I searched far and wide for a place where we could get the kind of lovely outdoor photos Casey dreamed of.

To make matters worse, it was wet, all the time, everywhere! I tracked down a couple of locations, but worried that, a) it would rain while we were doing the session or b) the ground would be so soggy we wouldn’t be able to walk anywhere. I started collecting things, including a very thick comforter, to put under Casey’s dress to protect it from dirt and grass.

But I soldiered on, because I LOVE outdoor bridal photos and I will do whatever I need to do to make them happen!

In the end, things worked out well. It stayed dry — not for long, but long enough that we didn’t need hip waders to walk across the field. It did not rain that day, though when we started the session, the skies were overcast.

Overcast light can be some of the most beautiful, as long as a photographer knows how to use it, so these are beautiful photos. Casey has a great sense of humor, and her personality comes through so clear in these photos!

We love a good diner! Here’s one we visited on Route 66 in 2008, complete with turquoise melamine coffee cups and a high chair straight out of 1982!

I’m old. Not THAT old, but old enough to remember when my hometown didn’t have a McDonald’s. Of course the rest of the U.S. believes Mississippi is just shy of being a third world country, so McDonald’s came late to my somewhat rural town.

At that time, there was one restaurant where we went on a regular basis, a little diner called Cathy’s. I only vaguely remember it, because at some point in my childhood Cathy’s went out of business as more and more restaurants opened near the Interstate, many of them fast food chains.

Sad story, right? The local business goes under while the chains flourish?

Not quite, because a large number of local restaurants have since opened as well. In fact, my hometown now has a pretty thriving restaurant scene for a town its size, with some really good food — everything from burgers, to barbecue, to fine dining — and much of it locally owned.

You see, while the cheap restaurants did charge less, they also reached a market that previously did not dine out very often. These were the country folks, usually lower income, who might go out to eat a couple of times a year, on a very special occasion. The cheap restaurants trained this market to dine out frequently … sometimes several times a week.

What does this have to do with photography businesses, you ask?

I think many of us tend to think of photography as a finite market. We think that if a cheaper photographer is getting a client, then that’s one less client we are getting. We believe the hype that low-cost photographers are “stealing” our clients and opportunities. (And believe me, it can certainly look like that, sometimes!)

It’s like the low-cost restaurants. Before those opened, lower-income people mostly ate at home. When they started going to McDonald’s, they weren’t necessarily leaving other restaurants to do it. So while I’m not really sure why my favorite childhood restaurant went out of business, I don’t think it had anything to do with fast food. It was more likely the aging owners, family crisis, or simply that their location wasn’t convenient for the increasing Interstate traffic.

When the cheaper restaurants got people used to eating out on a regular basis … what then? Maybe many of those people will be satisfied for their entire lives eating at Krystal — but what do you think the likelihood of that is? Really, don’t you think they will eventually get curious about what it’s like to eat at the nice restaurant, or at least the barbecue or catfish joint everyone is talking about?

Do you think it’s possible that the new low-cost photographers are similar to the fast food restaurants? That they will get people used to having their photos taken by a “professional” and begin to seek that out on a more regular basis? And if their cheap photographer goes out of business, or doesn’t deliver on an order, or moves with her husband to another town, then that barrier that a lot of people experience with professional photography has been broken down! We can thank the cheap photographer for that.

Because that barrier is real — I know, because I grew up with it. I was the first person in my family to even think about voluntarily going to a photo studio for portraits. When I was in college, at my urging, my sisters, my brother and I went to get photos taken as a present for my grandmother. The only other “professional” photos we have from our childhood were obligatory occasions: class pictures, senior pictures done through the high school, and church directory photos.

So instead of thinking that the lady offering to shoot photos of her next-door neighbor’s kids for $50 and a disc is taking your business, consider what that mom would have done without her. Nothing, most likely. She and her $50 disc may have just broken down the barrier that that mom set up against paying for photography.

The truth is, there are large — immense — numbers of people who got the minimum two hours of formals-only wedding photography (or simply got a relative to shoot their wedding — yes back in the days before digital!), never considered buying a wedding album, never had newborn photos taken of their kids, never did Easter or Christmas photos, never had a large family portrait to display in the living room. The door is opening, now. Consumers have traditionally gravitated towards wanting more — more service, more quality, and more specialty.

And yet, many photographers’ response to this change in the market has been to deliver less. To try to be all things to all people. To offer digital-only packages because “that’s what people want.” These photographers are taking the “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” approach, and in the process failing to distinguish themselves from photographers who are charging a fraction of the price.

It’s time to do what I said in my previous post in this series, and take responsibility: for service, for quality, for beautiful products, for our clients’ happiness.

And, just because there is a saturated market right now does not mean that will always be the case, because as my economics-trained husband will be quick to tell you, markets naturally achieve equilibrium over time. Wait; just wait.

When $50-and-a-disc and all her sisters and brothers have underpriced themselves off the scene, maybe, just maybe, we will wind up with a generation of people trained to seek out professional photographers. And there’s an almost-certainty that a portion of these people will be ready for something more in terms of photographic artistry, service, and quality.

So while most photographers are seeing these new photographers as the enemy, I think it’s possible, even likely, that they are doing what cheap services and products have historically done — opening up new markets that, in the future, could provide a vast new clientele for the industry.

There are two couples in the Little Rock rugby community who have been dating for years and are now getting married, and I get to photograph both weddings! Breean and Shanti’s ceremony is in October, which is always a beautiful month for weddings in Arkansas. They are headed to one of my favorite wedding venues, in one of my favorite months … can’t wait!

We chose Argenta for their engagement session, a section of North Little Rock that has lots of cool old buildings. Then we went to the River Trail, to a place I’ve had my eye on for photos for a long time. I think I’ll keep that location just between me and all the other runners, bikers, hikers and urban explorers in town!

Work has been a whirlwind since I got back from the photography convention in early March, but I didn’t want their engagement session to miss being on the blog. The location and the couple are both beautiful!

Like many venues, The Villa Marre includes a portrait session with their wedding packages, and though many brides choose to use this time for bridal photos, it’s also a great idea to use it for engagement photos, like this couple did. This is especially true if you really love the venue. Having this session at The Villa Marre also meant we could go ahead with the session comfortably, even though the weather wasn’t the greatest.

Recently, I heard someone compare the preparation that goes into creating and editing photos for clients, to a chef creating an elaborate meal.

Once I started thinking this way, the idea started running away with me, and I got so many business insights I felt I had to share.

One reason I like drawing an analogy with restaurants is because I have such an”inside take” on restaurants from having worked in a number of them throughout (and even after) college. It actually makes a pretty good business analogy, too. Many restaurants are local, mom and pop businesses. Restaurants are a service industry. Restaurants are, like photography, a luxury. And as photography becomes more ubiquitous, with almost everyone owning at least a smart phone that can take photos, the parallel gets even greater, because restaurants attempt to take a normal, everyday thing (food) and turn it into something better: either more convenient, or tastier, or more artistic, or more of an experience.

Also, most restaurants go out of business.

Okay, that’s maybe not the most encouraging analogy. Or is it? Because, despite the fact that the vast majority of restaurants that open go out of business within a few years (or months), you never hear anyone say, “The restaurant industry is dying.”

You also don’t hear restaurant owners saying anything like, “Man, the industry has just changed so much. All these people are thinking they can just go to the grocery store and buy some food and cook for themselves! They are even inviting friends over and cooking for them FOR FREE! There are just too many low-cost ovens available these days! And cooking shows! Those shows are just lying to people and making them think anyone can cook! The restaurant industry is dead.”

When a restaurant goes out of business, other restaurants don’t see it as a sign of the end times for restaurants everywhere. But, let a photography business fail — especially if it’s a somewhat well-known studio — and the cry of “the sky is falling” echoes from, literally, the entire world.

A few weeks ago, I saw a lot of people bemoaning the demise of what was apparently a well-known Australian photography business. But, without knowing the inside facts of that business, how can you know if it was run well? How can you know if their clients were thrilled with their images, or with the service they received? How can you know if they were operating with a profit margin, or taking a loss?

The truth is, a well-known name may be good for business, but it’s only part of the equation. Marketing is essential, but not everything. A person can still be getting their name out, be getting published on every blog, be recognized in every contest, and have terrible business practices.

It’s no secret that the photography business has changed. The restaurant business has also changed. Do you think when the five-star restaurant in town heard that a McDonald’s was opening, they said, “Well, there goes our business?” Nah, probably not, right?

Cheap, quick food came on the scene about 50 to 60 years ago, and that segment of the industry has expanded exponentially since then. Did some restaurants suffer? You bet. Many diners and mid-priced restaurants went out of business. People lost their businesses, and people lost their jobs.

The restaurant industry, however, did not die. There are still restaurants opening and closing all the time. There are still those optimistic souls who feel they have an idea they can turn to profit, and they make the attempt. Sometimes they succeed. Sometimes they don’t. No one cries doom and gloom for the entire restaurant industry. In subsequent posts, I am going to examine some things that restaurants do to stand out from the competition, that can possibly give us some clues to what works.

After working at a number of restaurants, however, I can authoritatively state one thing about restaurants: most restaurants are run badly. They have terrible management practices, or deliver awful service, or their food rots in the storeroom, or they fail to honor laws about such things as sales tax and liquor sales to minors, or their cooks verbally abuse the waitresses and unlock the door for their gang buddies to rob the safe (true story). I’ve seen all of those things happen in restaurants, and not one of those restaurants are still in business.

Is it the restaurant industry’s fault? Of course not! Did they blame it on the industry, the economy, the government, or their poor abused wait staff when they finally had to close their doors?

Of course they did!

Did that help. Nah.

It’s time we took responsibility for our industry, and the only way I know to do that is to take responsibility for ourselves, and the choices we make. We cannot take responsibility for the choices other people make.

If you feel your photography business is not doing well, you will accomplish nothing — NOTHING — by pointing fingers elsewhere. Figure out what you can offer that others are not offering. Evaluate the nuts and bolts of your business: the bookkeeping, business plan, turnaround times, communication.

Because, “The Industry” is not responsible for you. But YOU — every single one of you — are responsible for the industry.